In any relationship, the issue of cheating comes up one way or another. Most couples look at cheating as the end of the relationship, however, similar to when one gets a temperature or fever; indicative of bacteria within the body, I personally think that cheating is a bell going off to represent something going wrong in the relationship. Of course you won’t understand right off the bat what exactly is wrong, but the last thing you should do is question yourself.
When one discovers that their partner is cheating, they usually question themselves and find all the things they are doing right in order to filter out what’s wrong and end up making themselves feel bad for trying so hard and still ending up with a cheating partner. I’ve heard spouses being cheated on say “but I’ve done everything to keep him/her happy!” this is the first indication that you are clueless about what’s wrong in your relationship. A relationship involves two people and if this is your response, then you need to find out what’s wrong from our partner’s point of view. Here are some tips as to how to address the situation:
· Talk it out, Don’t shout it out- Don’t attack your partner, just ask what it is that is lacking in your relationship that he/she finds elsewhere. Be calm and mature and don’t ask the “is it me?” question; he/she is cheating on you, they haven’t left you, which only means something needs to change, if it were ‘you’, then he/she would already be gone.
· Make a decision- there are really two options. You will either resolve this personally by fixing what’s wrong (which may at times mean changing something about yourself or the way you do things, which is worth it if you want to hold on to this relationship), forgiving and working through it or with the help of a counselor. Or, you will have to go, each your own way. Sometimes that is the only resolution, however it should be the last option if you know you have put in the work to reconcile with your partner, but if you are continually hurting, then do yourself a favor, and split!
Log on next week for my spring article
Image from: Everydaylifewithmo
When one discovers that their partner is cheating, they usually question themselves and find all the things they are doing right in order to filter out what’s wrong and end up making themselves feel bad for trying so hard and still ending up with a cheating partner. I’ve heard spouses being cheated on say “but I’ve done everything to keep him/her happy!” this is the first indication that you are clueless about what’s wrong in your relationship. A relationship involves two people and if this is your response, then you need to find out what’s wrong from our partner’s point of view. Here are some tips as to how to address the situation:
· Talk it out, Don’t shout it out- Don’t attack your partner, just ask what it is that is lacking in your relationship that he/she finds elsewhere. Be calm and mature and don’t ask the “is it me?” question; he/she is cheating on you, they haven’t left you, which only means something needs to change, if it were ‘you’, then he/she would already be gone.
· Make a decision- there are really two options. You will either resolve this personally by fixing what’s wrong (which may at times mean changing something about yourself or the way you do things, which is worth it if you want to hold on to this relationship), forgiving and working through it or with the help of a counselor. Or, you will have to go, each your own way. Sometimes that is the only resolution, however it should be the last option if you know you have put in the work to reconcile with your partner, but if you are continually hurting, then do yourself a favor, and split!
Log on next week for my spring article
Image from: Everydaylifewithmo